The Hunt For The Two-Sided Triangle

Opening Scene: Gary, Raquel, Lois, Len & Glenda are playing a networked Virtual Reality computer game in the school IT Room. They have already been playing for some hours.

Raquel: Isn’t this game great - so realistic. It’s really ABSORBING!

Everyone starts to get “absorbed” into the screens. Dramatic chords sound. Much confusion as everyone gets sucked into the game.

Others: ...You shouldn’t have said that!.....

Music reaches a climax then starts to calm down. The dust starts to settle and the Gang of 5 find themselves in a strange land.

Glenda: Where are we?

Two strange characters rush in holding up a scroll bearing the words “This Is A Map”. These two never speak.

Len: What is it?

Raquel: A map, stupid.

Gary goes over and unrolls the scroll to reveal the map. (See Notes below.)

Gary: Well, it says here that we’re in a place called Angle C. I’m sure I’ve heard of it before.

Scroll bearers rush off.

Lois: That’s all very well, but it doesn’t tell us how to get back to school. We’ve got to find somebody who can help us.

Len: Why don’t we just go back the way we came?

Others: Of course! Let’s go!

Everybody sets out confidently in a different direction only to change their mind several times before returning rather less confidently back to the start.

Others (To Len): What a stupid idea! The whole point is that we don’t KNOW how we got here. All we know is that we’ve got to get back.

Len shrugs and goes off to sulk but soon forgets why he is sulking and comes back to rejoin the group.

Raquel: Lois, Gary - you’re the clever ones! Can’t you think of anything? Please try!

Chorus: Yes, try! Go on! Try!

As they repeat the words “Try, go on”, Trigon enters.

Trigon: Did somebody call?

Gary: Who are you?

Trigon: Trigon. Trigon O’Metry, Wizard Extraordinaire. Fast Food, Double Glazing and Triangle Measurements a Speciality.

Trigon hands Gary his business card. The others look at it, and at Trigon, with considerable suspicion.

Lois: Do you do “Getting Lost Children Back To School” ?

Trigon: Nothing is impossible for The Wizard. For a fee. Find me a two-sided triangle and then your wish is my cliché.

Trigon exits before the others have a chance to protest.

Gary: A two-sided triangle? That’s impossible!

Lois: We’ll never get home!

Glenda: We’re stuck here for ever!

Raquel: We’re doomed!

Len: er...What’s a triangle?

Glenda and Raquel turn to beat up Len but Gary stops them.

Gary: Come on, you two. We haven’t got time for that. We must start looking for clues. I’ve a funny feeling that we WILL find a two-sided triangle in this strange place if we keep looking.

Lois: That’s right. We need to look out for other people and ask them if they can help us. Get moving!

The Gang of 5 starts looking for clues, not really knowing what a clue will look like if they find one. They lift a few stones, and peer around the trees and bushes, but it is all rather half-hearted and ineffective, with most of the looking involving people staring intently at the floor and trying to look busy. While this is going on, the first of the four Angle People (Acute) enters, unnoticed by the group, and seeing the others searching, she bends down to join in next to Len.

Acute: (Whispering) What are we looking for?

Len: I’m not really sure. Gary said something about looking for glue. That’s when I got stuck.

Raquel: CLUES, stupid! We’re looking for CLUES not GLUE!

Raquel then realises that a newcomer has arrived and alerts the group. Everyone stands up and looks at Acute, who suddenly becomes very shy.

Glenda: Excuse me, but are you a clue?

Acute: Possibly - it depends what you mean. I’m one of the Angle People. My name is Acute and I look after all the small angles round here. They need looking after, you see, because they are still very young.

Gary: How young is “young” for an angle?

Acute: Oh, only about that young (indicates acute angle with her hands). When angles are born, you see, they are nought degrees, and then they grow like this (indicates) as they get older. I look after all the ones less than 90 degrees old.

The Gang of 5 stare at Acute, thinking that she is either extremely kind, or extremely mad, or possibly both. Acute gets very embarrassed with everyone staring at her, and runs away.

Lois: Well, don’t just stand there. Write that down! That could be our first clue!

There is a rush of indifference as the others wait for someone else to write it down. Eventually Glenda produces a pen and paper and writes as she speaks:-

Glenda: Acute....angles...less...than...90...degrees.... Need...looking...after.

The Gang of 5 resume their search while the two scroll bearers return with a tray containing various sheets of paper, some cut out triangles and a pair of scissors.

Len: Oh, good! The refreshments have arrived!

Raquel moves to clock Len again, but Gary gives her a warning stare and she changes the action into moving hair out of her eyes.

Gary: No, Len, this is just paper. But it might be useful - perhaps some of THESE triangles have two sides. Let’s share them all out and have a look. (“Deals” out the triangles to everybody)

Lois: (counts) One, Two, Three. No. Not this one.

Glenda: (counts) One, Two, Three. No. Nor mine.

Gary: (counts) One, Two, Three. No. Mine’s got three.

Raquel: (counts) One, Two, Three. No. Three again.

Len: (counting round and round) One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten! (Triumphant)

The others turn round and stare, not really realising that anybody could be that stupid. Words fail them.

Len: (sensing trouble) er...I’ll just check that.

As Len resumes his task, the others go muttering back to the tray to check if there are any other triangles. They are interrupted by the sound of an approaching sergeant major, who turns out to be the second of the Angle People (Right). After a few “Left, Right, Left, Rights” off stage, Right and his recruits enter the scene. The tray bearers drop the tray in fright and run off.

Right: Left! Right! Left! Right! Left! Right! Left! Right! Company.......HALT! Atten....SHUN!

The recruits form a shambolic line, with varying degrees of success at the final command. The Sergeant salutes the assembled Gang of 5, who aren’t quite sure if they should also be standing to attention. Gary returns the salute, and the others copy him.

Gary: (Nervously) G-G-Good afternoon, er, Sir, er, Your Sergeant Majorship. Very pleased to meet you.

Right: (still shouting) What did you say, lad? Doesn’t matter - you’re obviously new round here. I’m Right, Sergeant Right, Officer in Charge of Right Angles, at your service, Sah! Sarj of the Right Brigade, they call me. Right and Left, but never wrong, that’s what I always say! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Lois: Are you another of the Angle People then?

Right: That’s right, young lady. All angles reaching the age of 90 degrees must join the Army to get some shape knocked into them. Our best recruits can then get jobs working for squares and rectangles in the City. Can’t stop. Must get marching. COMPANY!

Right lines up his troops again and marches them offstage. We hear the “Left, Right, Left, Rights” fade into the distance.

Raquel: Quick, Glenda! Write that down in your notebook - it may be another useful clue!

Glenda retrieves her pencil and paper and starts to write, speaking as before while doing so:-

Glenda: Right...angles...equal...to...90...degrees.....Best...examples...squares...and...rectangles. Right?

Chorus: Right!

Gary: Perhaps we’re going about this the wrong way. What we need to do is to make our own two-sided triangle. Then we can take it back to the Wizard Trigon and get back home. What do you think?

Lois: Good idea. I’ve been thinking myself already. What if we got a three-sided triangle and cut off one of the sides. Result - a two-sided triangle. It’s simple really, when you’ve got brains like me!

Gary: Come on, then - let’s get cutting!

Assisted by the other three, Gary and Lois each take a paper triangle and a pair of scissors. Carefully they make a cut parallel to one of the sides right across to the other side. They hold up the two pieces for examination.

Lois: There you are! Three sides take away one side equals... oh dear - three sides again.

Gary: One, Two, Three. Hmm, I’m afraid mine’s the same.

The Gang of 5 sit and think hard, frowning and scratching their heads. Len goes to sleep, but soon wakes as Raquel leaps up with An Idea.

Raquel: I’ve got it! We make it with two sides - we just leave the third side out! Wait here while I take that wire off the edge of the tray.

Raquel moves backstage to the area where the tray lies and with her back to us she seems to be very busy. Eventually she holds up the two-sided wire triangle (actually already lying on the tray).

Raquel: Da-Da! One two-sided triangle. Now let’s take it to the Wizard Trigon.

Len: Let me take it - I’m good at carrying things!

Raquel: No, I’m taking it - it was my idea!

The tug-of-war which ensues results in the wire being completely straightened out. Raquel and Len look at the damage in disbelief. Cries of “Now look what you’ve done!” “It was your fault” etc. escalate until Lois, Gary and Glenda have to break them up.

Gary: Never mind, it wasn’t a real triangle anyway - it was just two lines with a corner between them.

Lois: That’s right, Gary, but thank you, Raquel, for coming up with the idea. It was worth a try. Now then, we’d better carry on looking for clues if we’re ever going to get home.

Somebody is heard whistling offstage.

Glenda: Listen! Can you hear that whistling? Someone’s coming this way!

The third Angle Person (Obtuse) enters, whistling as he goes. Being a bit slow, it takes him a while to notice the five people staring at him.

Obtuse: er...(to each in turn) Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello!

Glenda: You must be one of the Angle People.

Obtuse: (Grinning stupidly, then realising that he is expected to say something) I must? I mean, yes I am. Or I was when I woke up. It’s hard to remember.

Gary: We’re looking for clues about triangles. Can you help us?

Obtuse: Oh, sure! Anything you want. Obtuse to the Rescue! No job too big or too small. Delivery extra. Closed on Thursdays. Hang on, I got a bit confused there. What was the question again?

Lois: You said your name was Obtuse. Perhaps you could tell us what an obtuse angle is?

Obtuse: Easy - the old ones! If it’s gone past 90 degrees old then it’s obtuse. (Indicates with hands) Most of them have just come out of the army and it’s driven them barmy. I have to sort them out.

Raquel: (Under her breath) Some hope! (Normally) Thank you!

Sensing that nobody is going to ask him any more hard questions, Obtuse gathers together his two brain cells and grins stupidly before walking away whistling as if nothing had happened. In two minutes’ time he will have forgotten anything did happen anyway.

Glenda: (Writing) Obtuse...angles...more...than...90...degrees...Don’t...ask...them...for...advice.

Gary: Yes, write it down. We seem to be getting quite a lot of clues now: Obtuse angles, Right angles and, er, Acute angles. That lot should help us quite a bit. On with the search!

Len: I get it! Triangles have THREE sides! (Beams happily, but then notices Raquel and Glenda advancing on him again)

Lois: We haven’t really looked on the ground very thoroughly. I’ve noticed quite a few triangles lying around - one of them must be a two-sided one. Well, it’s a thought.

The Gang of 5 concede that there is little else they can do, so they resume their inspection of the floor, but still with little enthusiasm for the task. Suddenly something unusual catches Glenda’s eye and she stoops to pick it up. It is a sector of a circle.

Glenda: Hey, look at this! If this isn’t a two-sided triangle I don’t know what is! (Holds it up)

Gary: Glenda may be right. Look, it’s definitely got two straight sides, and as the other one is curved it doesn’t count. Glenda, I think you’ve done it!

Amidst the celebrating, Sir Cumference enters, obviously looking for something and getting more and more frustrated. He then notices that Glenda is holding up the object of his search.

Sir C: You’ve found it! Well done!

Lois: Yes, at last - we’re all so pleased.

Gary: We’ve just got to take it to Trigon and he’ll get us back home.

Sir C: What do you mean, “Take it to Trigon” ? It’s mine!

Len: No it isn’t! I found it (sees the menacing stares) I mean....Glenda found it.

Sir C: Well I lost it, so let’s have it back please.

Lois: Perhaps it would help if you told us who you are and what this thing is. Then we can tell you our side of the story.

Sir C: Well, as you know, this is Angle C in Triangle Land. I come from across the border in Circle Land. I’m Sir Cumference, Chief Controller of Circles, and that piece is part of a valuable circle I was repairing. If I’d lost it I would have lost my job. Give it to me I’ll show you how it fits together.

Reluctantly they hand over the sector to Sir Cumference. He takes the rest of the circle out of his pocket, unfolds it and shows how the sector fits the gap perfectly.

Gary: We had rather hoped it was a two-sided triangle. We have to find one for the Wizard Trigon in order to get back to school. Now it looks like we’re back to square one. Or should I say triangle one.

Sir C: I’m afraid I can’t help you there. All I can suggest is that you look for the Triangle Shops. They sell all KINDS of triangles. (Turns to go) Good luck, anyway, and thanks for finding this! (With a wave he departs)

With a sense of “We’ll-never-get-out-at-this-rate” the Gang of 5 settle down for what could be a long wait. Gary picks up a few triangles and a pair of scissors. Throughout this next section he remains absorbed in his work. Lois sits with her head resting on her hands, thinking. The others variously engage themselves with sitting, thinking, lying and (in Len’s case) sleeping. The peace is suddenly shattered by the pumping sound of a ghetto blaster and an over-enthusiastic aerobics instructor. The instructor is in fact Reflex, the last of the Angle People, who eventually enters with her class of unfit specimens. As if sleepwalking, Len gets up and does the exercises with his eyes closed.

Reflex: Get those knees higher! And STR-E-E-E-TCH! Right over! Fit not fat! Now the other side! Keep it up!

Raquel: (Shouting above the noise) Can I have a word?

Reflex goes over to the ghetto blaster and turns it off with a click. Instantaneously the keep-fitters collapse in a heap on the floor. Len curls up on the floor.

Reflex: You were saying?

Raquel: I thought we’d met all the Angle People here. We met Acute, Right and Obtuse, and you don’t seem to belong to anyone of those groups. Who are you?

Reflex: I’m Reflex - in charge of Health and Fitness here amongst the angles. You see, most angles don’t believe that they can grow to more than 180 degrees (indicates with her arms) but I try to make them more supple so that they can go way past it. Almost round to 360 degrees in fact (indicates again) and of course they just LOVE the exercise, don’t you team? (Turns back towards the ghetto blaster)

Team: (Collectively) Ouch! My Back! No more! Mercy! etc.

Lois: Before you go, could you please tell us where we can find the Angle Shops?

Reflex: That’s a tricky one - they keep walking round. But you should bump into one or two if you keep still long enough. Come on troops! You’ve been resting too long for your own good. Fit not fat, remember! Now let me see those knees up high again!

Reflex switches on the machine and leads the straggling troupe offstage as the music dies away. Len wakes up with a start. He thinks he has had a bad dream.

Glenda: (Writing this down) Reflex...angles...more...than...180...degrees...Only...the...fit...survive..... (Addressing the group) I don’t think we’re going to meet any more Angle People now. I hope not - they wear me out! You missed all that, Gary. What have you been doing?

Gary: I’ve been experimenting with these shapes here. It seems that whatever shape you start with, if you cut off one of the corners, you get an extra side. Watch! (Demonstrates by cutting a corner off a triangle) Three sides take away one corner gives...four sides! And I was thinking....

Lois: ...that if you ADD a corner, you would get....

Gary: Exactly! One side FEWER. Let’s see if it works!

Gary takes a triangle and adds a corner which fits across the length of one side. The result is, naturally, a quadrilateral.

Gary: Start with three sides and finish with.....FOUR!

Len: (Counts on his fingers) That’s bigger than three!

Lois: Thanks, Len. Perhaps that corner was too big. Let’s try a smaller one.

Glenda and Raquel have already been looking for suitable pieces to fit together. They select a large triangle and a small corner to fit in the middle of one of the triangle sides. While attention is focused on Glenda and the triangle experiment, Raquel slips offstage to prepare for her entry as the Equilateral Triangle Seller - basically this is just a hat and an usherette-style tray of wares.

Glenda: Here you are then. A smaller corner this time. We start with a three sided shape, (demonstrating as she speaks) add a corner and get....a SIX sided shape!! Oh no, it’s getting worse not better!

Gary: Well, we tried. I suppose we had better start looking for those Angle Shops Sir Cumference mentioned. Now where did Reflex say we would find them?

Lois: She didn’t. She said.....

Before she can finish, however, she is interrupted by the loud cries of the entering Equilateral Triangle Seller.

ETS: Equilater-ALS! Equilater-ALS! Get your Equilateral triangles here! All different and all the same! Equilater-ALS! Equilater-ALS!

Gary: (To the group) Equilateral? That might mean two- sided. We’d better buy one!

Lois: (To the seller) Excuse me, how much for one of your triangles?

ETS: Equilater-ALS! All different and all the same! Give me a rope with three ends and you can take your pick. No free samples, I’m afraid. Equilater-ALS!

Gary: This place is crazy. First they want a two-sided triangle and now they want a rope with three ends. And where on earth are we going to find one of them?

Glenda: We don’t. We make one.

Others: Eh?

Glenda: Yes, it’s a trick my Grandfather taught me when I was little. Give me a piece of rope and I’ll show you what I mean.

The Gang (of 4) search their pockets for any kind of string. Len produces a piece which looks quite unremarkable.

Glenda: (Taking it) That’s excellent, Len! Just the job! Now all you do is carefully take one end....

As she explains this, Glenda carefully splits the strands of the string at one end and gently pulls them apart until she has made a Y-shape. She then lets each smaller strand rewind around itself to stop the two twisting back together again. Result: a piece of string with three ends!

Glenda: .....And there you have it!

Gary: Quick! Give it to the Equilateral Triangle Seller before she goes!

ETS: Equilater-ALS! All different and all the same. Equilater-ALS! Last orders please, ladies and gentlemen. Last orders!

Glenda: (To seller) I’ll take one please, if I may. (Hands over the string)

ETS: (Inspecting it) Hmm. Seems OK. All right then, take your pick. We haven’t got all day. Equilater-ALS!

The Equilateral Triangle Seller departs while the Gang of 4 crowds together to inspect their purchase. Upon opening it up, however, they are dismayed to find that it confirms their worst thoughts.

Lois: Oh, no! Three sides again! So what does “equilateral” mean then?

Gary: Well, she kept saying “All different and all the same!”

Len: They all looked different sizes to me.

Glenda: But the SIDES are all the same! Look - and the angles! That’s what she must have meant - equilateral triangles are ones where all the sides are the same length and all the angles are the same size.

Raquel enters, apparently having been away “looking for clues”. She has heard the discussion and draws closer to find out the latest news.

Gary: Raquel! Where were you? We’ve just visited our first Triangle Shop - “Equilateral” it was called.

While the others are telling Raquel what happened, Lois slips away to become the Isosceles Triangle Seller.

Glenda: Come to think of it, Raquel, she looked JUST like you - are you sure you weren’t playing a trick on us?

Raquel: Don’t be soft - I don’t even know what an “Equilateral Triangle” is, let alone how to sell them!

Gary: Never mind. It doesn’t matter now. Just remember in future that Equilateral Triangles are not two-sided, but have three equal sides and three equal angles.

Len: Glenda’s right - she DID look like you!

As the three others groan at Len’s latest attempt to keep up with the conversation, the Isosceles Triangle Seller enters with appropriately loud advertising of her merchandise.

ITS: IS-osceles! IS-osceles! Get your Isosceles Triangles here! IS-osceles! Every one is both the same! IS-osceles!

Len: Sausages? Where? I love sausages! About time too. I’m starving!

ITS: I said, Sonny, (speaking with exaggerated clarity) “IS-osceles! IS-osceles!”

Raquel: Len, she’s another Triangle Seller. We had better buy one, too, if we’re still interested in getting back. (To the Triangle Seller) How much for one of your Isosceles Triangles?

ITS: It’s the same request for everybody. Bring me something which you have to cut in half to make it bigger.

Glenda: (To the group) But cutting anything in half makes it smaller! There’s no way out this time!

Gary: Hang on! Not everything - my sister brought something home from school the other day which did just that. She cut it in half and made it bigger. I think it involved a long piece of paper. Now let me see ......

As Gary tries hard to remember his sister’s trick, the others go off to fetch him a strip of paper, sticky tape and scissors. Gary then tries a few possibilities before hesitantly sticking the paper down to make a Möbius Strip.

Gary: I think it went something like this....

Gary cuts around the centre of the band as everyone looks on with bated breath!

Gary: .... and then you cut in half right round the middle of the loop ... (continues cutting)

Raquel: ... to get two loops?

Gary: I hope not! No - here you are: ONE BIG LOOP!!

This loop is presented proudly to the Isosceles Triangle Seller, who is a bit annoyed that her puzzle was solved so quickly. Reluctantly, she offers her tray for Gary to make his selection. With a huff, the Triangle Seller then turns her back on the group and walks offstage, repeating her call as she goes: “IS-osceles! IS-osceles!”. After a quick change, Lois slips back in as the group are opening up their latest purchase.

Glenda: I still can’t make out what she meant by “Every one is both the same”. They all looked different in the tray!

It is now Glenda’s turn to slide away offstage to don the Triangle Seller outfit. She becomes the Right-Angled Triangle Seller.

Gary: Perhaps this is the one with two sides then. (Opens it up) Oh, no! I might have guessed it! Three sides again!

Raquel: But look - two sides are the same! And there are two equal angles! That’s what the Triangle Seller must have meant.

Lois: (Coming closer) I think I missed something then. What were you saying?

Gary: That was the Isosceles Triangle Seller. She was selling....

Len: ....I-sausages ... I mean Isosceles Triangles....

Raquel: ....with two equal sides....

Gary: ....and two equal angles. And she looked like you!

Lois: But that’s crazy - I was over there all the time!

Raquel: Where?

Lois: (pointing) Over there - just where that person’s coming from. I wonder what they want from us.

All eyes follow the direction of Lois’ pointing finger to see the entrance of The Right-Angled Triangle Seller as she arrives in full voice:

RTS: Right-ANG-led! Right-ANG-led! Get your Right-Angled Triangles here! Right-ANG-led! Any way you like: Left or Right, as long as it’s Right. All right? Right-ANG-led!

Gary: This is getting ridiculous. We spend ages looking for Triangle Sellers and suddenly we can’t get rid of them!

Len: Well, we could buy another triangle...

After this point Len is free to slip away for his entry as the Scalene Triangle Seller later on.

Lois: Is it worth it? We know what a right angle is, and it doesn’t mean two sided.

Raquel: We could at least find out what she wants for one.

Lois: Fair enough! (to Triangle Seller) How much for one of your triangles, please?

RTS: Just tell me the name of two things which always have the bottom at the top.

Gary: Why doesn’t anybody sell anything properly round here? And what could possibly have the BOTTOM at the TOP?

Raquel: I know! (Jumps to attention in front of the Right- Angled Triangle Seller) Da-Na!

RTS: Why, I’ve never seen it solved so quickly before! Well done - take a triangle!

Raquel takes a triangle from the tray and the Right-Angled Triangle Seller exits, resuming her cries of “Right-ANG-led! Right-ANG-led!” etc.

Others: (Mystified) We still don’t get it - what was the answer?

Raquel: It’s obvious! Legs! The bottom is at the top!

Gary: Don’t tell me - your Right-Angled Triangle has got three sides?

Raquel: (Opens it to check) One..two..three. You’re right!

Lois: So is the angle! Ha! Ha! Sorry.

Gary: This is no time for joking! You forget that we haven’t yet found a two-sided triangle, and until we do so we won’t get back to school!

The others look suitably reprimanded and a guilty silence descends upon them. Awkwardly, (Len) The Scalene Triangle Seller enters, with a half-hearted cry to advertise his goods.

STS: Er...SCA-lene! SCA-lene! Get your...erm...scalene triangles here... if you want, that is.

Raquel: Scalene? Well, we’ve got to try it, I suppose.

STS: Oh, they’re nice, really they are. Apart from the fact that these are all the left-overs.

Gary: What did you just say?

STS: Left-overs: If a triangle is not equilateral, or isosceles, or right-angled, then I sell it.

Glenda: (To the others) So that must include two-sided ones! This is our last hope - let’s get one!

Raquel: (To the Seller) What do you want for it then?

STS: Just a rope. With ONE end, of course.

Gary: This is going to need some thought. Three ends was easy, but ONE end....

Lois: ...unless......I’ve got a plan!

In the time honoured tradition, Lois whispers her “plan” to the rest of the group, who then assemble for the One-Ended Rope Trick. (See Notes below.) They invite the Scalene Triangle Seller to step forwards and take the end of the rope.

Lois: That’s it - just keep winding it up.

The Scalene Triangle Seller gathers in the rope, walking backwards as he does so around the screen and we see the rope continuing to be pulled in. Suddenly, from the other side of the screen, the Scalene Triangle Seller appears, looking very confused, and being pulled along by the string whose end he is holding.

Lois: So there you have it - a rope with one end!

The Scalene Triangle Seller drops his tray of triangles and staggers offstage to gather both his wits again. The others descend upon the tray to look for a two-sided triangle. After discarding the entire contents, they are forced to admit defeat.

Raquel: I don’t think we’re EVER going to get back!

Glenda: No more Angle People!

Lois: And no more Triangle Sellers!

Gary: Hang on, there MUST be a way. Glenda, can you remind us of what we’ve got so far?

Glenda: (Combines reading from her notes with her own recall of the events that have passed) Well, we had Acute Angles less than 90 degrees, Right Angles EQUAL to 90 degrees, and Obtuse Angles BIGGER than 90 degrees...

Raquel: As well as Reflex Angles which were bigger than 180 degrees...

Glenda: Yes, that’s right. Then we saw Equilateral Triangles where all the sides were the same and all the angles were the same, and Isosceles Triangles....

Lois: ...with two sides the same length...

Glenda: Then there were Right-Angled Triangles with a Right Angle in them, obviously,...

Gary: And now we’ve just seen Scalene Triangles, which were all the triangles that didn’t fit anywhere else. BUT THEY ALL HAD THREE SIDES!!

Silence descends upon the group again, as nobody can think of anything else to say or do to help. Conveniently, Len ambles in at this point, with a thoughtful expression on his face.

Len: (Indifferently) Actually, they all had two sides.

This explodes the group into sudden action. Everyone starts asking Len questions - Where have you been - Are you sure you weren’t the Scalene Triangle Seller - What do you mean by that etc. Len remains silent until the noise has died down.

Len: (Holding up a triangle for them to see) Two sides, you see - a front side and a back side. It’s easy when you’re as clever as me.

Lois: Congratulations, Len - you’ve done it! All the time we thought it meant...and it actually meant...!

Gary: Yes, well done, Len. We’d better get Trigon back now so that we can go back to school. I bet he thought we’d never solve it!! (Len looks pointedly at him) ... I mean that Len would never solve it for us!

The Gang of 5 call out in all directions “Trigon! Trigon!”

Raquel: (pointing to the left) Look - there he comes!

All eyes turn to the left as Trigon enters from the right.

Trigon: (Creeping up behind them) You called?

With a jump, the startled Gang turn round to face the smiling Wizard.

Glenda: No! I mean Yes! I mean...what do I mean?

Lois: We’ve got what you wanted - a Two-Sided Triangle.

They hand it over, showing front and back as the two sides.

Trigon: I knew you’d get it in the end. Well done! So tell me again - this is the front side...?

Gary: Yes...

Trigon: ...So this must be the backside! At last - now I can sit down! (He sticks it on his own backside and sits down with obvious relief)

Gary: But what about getting us back to school?

Trigon: Easier done than said. See you there!

Trigon O’Metry jumps up and exits quickly - the strange music returns and the Gang of 5 find themselves being spun round in the semi-darkness. Then, as abruptly as it had started, the music stops and they find themselves back in the school IT Room.

Len: We’re back!

Raquel: And look - the clock shows the same time as it did when we left!

Glenda: I wouldn’t get excited about that. It’s said quarter past eleven since the beginning of term.

Lois: Hey! Look what I’ve found in my pocket! (She produces a strip of paper bearing the word “Isosceles” in large letters)

The others rummage in their pockets too. Raquel finds “Equilateral”, Len finds “Scalene”, and Glenda finds “Right-Angled”.

Raquel: (To Lois) So you WERE the Isosceles Triangle Seller!

Lois: (To Glenda) And you sold the Right-Angled Triangles!

Glenda: (To Len) And you were the Scalene Triangle Seller!

Len: (To Raquel) And you had the Equilateral Triangles!

Gary: Look, Len - you can make your name with those letters. L-E-N-C-A-S-E : It’s an anagram!

Lois: And me! Look : L-O-I-S-C-E-S-S-E

Raquel: Me too! (Demonstrates)

Glenda: (Eventually) And me! What about you, Gary?

Gary searches his own pockets. He brings out a piece of paper upon which is the word “PYTHAGORAS”.

Gary: Well, I can certainly spell my name out with it: G-A-R-Y-A-S-H-P-O-T. But what does it mean?

Trigon now enters as Dave the Caretaker just as Gary asks his question.

Dave: Come on, you lot. You should have been home ages ago. What’s that you’ve got - Pythagoras?

Gary: Why, do you now what it is?

Dave: It’s not an “it”, it’s a “he”. Now out you go!

Lois: But WHO is he?

Dave: Someone to do with triangles, I seem to remember. You’d better ask your Maths teacher. Anyway, off you go - some of us have got work to do! (He starts to usher them out)

Glenda: Wait! You were there too! You were the Wizard!

Len: Yes, that’s right - you were Trigon!

Dave: Trigon? Wizard? What are you talking about now, you daft kids! I’ve never heard anything so ridiculous. Out with you all!

Dave The Caretaker herds them out and closes the door behind them, with him inside. Alone on the stage he checks to see that nobody is looking, then pulls out the Trigon hat from one of his pockets. Carefully he adjusts it on his head, as he leans on his broom.

Trigon: Pythagoras? Hmm - perhaps NEXT time they visit....

Trigon / Dave literally sweeps out of the room through the opposite door. He’s a busy man.

Stephen Froggatt
August 1995

NOTES

1. THE MAP
The scroll is just a large rolled-up piece of paper, which bears the words "This Is A Map" on the outside when rolled up. The scroll bearers hold the top edge of the map, and the bottom edge is rolled up inside. Attached to the back of the map on the bottom edge are some large pieces of Blu-tack or similar to weight it down, thus enabling it to open quickly when released. When opened up, we see the map of a triangular island. The three angles are labelled respectively Angle A, Angle B and Angle C. The latter is at the end of an arrow which reads "You Are Here".

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2. THE ONE-ENDED ROPE TRICK
One long rope is required. It may be decorated with small coloured flags, ribbons etc tied along its length to make it easier to see it being pulled along. Len is given one end while the other end is held behind the screen. Len is standing at the right hand end of the screen. He starts to wind it up, walking backwards as he does so in front of the screen. When he reaches the left hand end of the screen, he continues to wind the rope in as he disappears behind the screen. Without pausing, the winding is taken up by someone behind the screen, leaving Len free to take hold of the other end. The winding continues and Len appears again at the right hand end of the screen, holding the end of the rope, and is pulled along in front of the screen towards the left hand end again. Other characters on stage may stand between the rope and the screen to hold the rope up and to assist in passing it along. The faster Len can re-appear on the right of the screen after disappearing on the left, the better the illusion.

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